Is It God or Fear Talking?
I can now discern fear easily in my own mind.
When it comes up now, it’s tiny, and I flick it off my shoulder like a gnat.
I will always listen to others to learn what God wants to teach me through their words.
Lately, the lesson has been to slow down and stop saying too much to people who don’t yet understand my message.
Recently, in a restaurant, a man came up to me from another table and said I was talking “too f—ing loud” and should “keep it down!”
I immediately apologized and did not respond with anger.
Because what you give is what you usually get, my first urge was to give his anger back to him.
But I didn’t.
Instead, I said sincerely, “I’m really sorry; I’m getting my hearing aids fitted, and don’t have them with me, so I don’t realize how loud I can talk without them.”
I said that calmly and sincerely.
He didn’t know how to react, since he expected anger back and didn’t get it.
When he walked away and sat down at his table with his wife, I told my waitress that I wanted to pay for their meal.
When I walked out, I stopped by their table, put my hand on his shoulder, and again apologized sincerely.
He and his wife were very friendly.
When I left, aware that they didn’t yet know I had paid for their meal, that felt good.
I was certain that I had had a positive effect on his future behavior, and that also felt good.
If I had returned his anger with my anger, that would have justified his behavior.
However, my not doing that made him reflect on his behavior, probably feel bad about it, and not repeat it in the future with others.
When I am listening to others, I can now discern whether it is God teaching me or another person’s fear speaking.
There are three reasons that people share fear stories with others.
Some do it to get validation for their fear from others.
Some do it to warn others about something bad that might happen to them.
And some do it to warn others about something bad that might happen to themselves.
But God’s lessons to us always have to do with loving and forgiving others.