Setting Giving Boundaries
I want to do God’s will of helping people who need it.
I do not want to become a person’s single source of support.
People need to rely on God while helping themselves.
God will provide for those who have faith.
God provides and replenishes me when I help others from the heart.
If individuals become dependent on me, instead of on God, that is unhealthy.
When I help a needy person, I first need to discuss the boundaries of that help.
After I give others God’s blessing, I tell them that God is my source and supply, not me, because I am not God.
God wants me to build my faith and depend on Him.
If I help others more than once without setting boundaries, those individuals will become dependent on me and expect me to keep helping them.
If I don’t set boundaries when I help others more than once, they usually become resentful if I stop helping them, because they have become dependent on me instead of God.
And I then become resentful when they keep asking me for help, because I didn’t set boundaries.
When I tell others in advance that I am helping them only once, they do not expect more of me and do not develop an unhealthy dependency on me.
Just because human nature can be ugly and selfish, that is no reason to give up on helping others.
My goal is to help others to become less selfish and more giving.
When I set boundaries as I give to others, I am teaching them how to set boundaries when they help others in the future.
I should always give to needy persons from the heart, but without creating a selfish dependence on me.
One example of my healthy giving occurred when I helped someone financially, who then became sober and got his life back on track.
But financial aid was not the only help he needed.
He also needed help in learning how to budget his money.
So I patiently helped him to devise a clear written plan for self-sufficiency based on faith in God.